Thursday, February 26, 2015


In recent news, I've been thinking about College. For the longest time, I've wanted to go to New York. At first, I wasn't exactly sure where but last year I became dead set on NYU. It had a great writer program, but I started talking to my school counselor and they don't have a Creative Writing I can Major in. So it got me thinking.

To be a writer I technically do not have to go to college. But I want to for experience and I feel like it could make me better as a writer. But my mom was like 'when you apply for colleges, apply for more than one. Just in case.' and that made me anxious because oh my god what if I don't get into NYU?

So I started looking at other colleges. None that I found better than NYU. Almost all of them had a lower that 35% acceptance rate (35 is what NYU is at.) and it didn't make me feel any better. I went to a friends house for a full weekend and- just for fun- we looked up the Disney College Program.

For those of you who might not know, this is an internship that last's for about three or six months. Meaning, while you're in college you could be working at the parks. Amazing, right? It sounded fun and incredible and I'm sure it would be. But you have to be going to a surrounding college. This got me thinking, what if we took this a step further? What if it wasn't just for fun.

So we looked up College's in Florida. Again, none sounded appealing. Not for what I wanted to do at least. While we were looking we realized we had to look for some that are close to Disney. So we looked at Orlando colleges and found UCF or University of Central Florida.

Keep in mind that this friend I am with had wanted to be a surgeon all her life but recently has been considering becoming an editor instead. We found that UCF has a great writing program. A Creative Writing I can Major in and an English I can get a masters in.

Suddenly, it sounded perfect and I was excited and hopeful. So all week I have been thinking about UCF and Disney and my life after high school and I'm still excited and hopeful. UCF's acceptance rate is 48% so it's higher that NYU. I have good grades, I'm part of a leadership program, I'm a good student and I've been told in many ways by many different teachers.

I think I can do this. Maybe and hopefully.


Saturday, November 29, 2014

On My Own

While it’s true that I do just fine on my own

And I do a lot of good things by myself

Things I wouldn’t do as well if someone was next to me

Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night

I think of all the things I could do

If I had someone like you to stand by

I think of how much better it would be

If I were sleeping next to you

Instead of lying here by myself


Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Color Orange

I've got no where else to put my writing, I figured here would be a good spot. This is nothing, just a short snippet of something that popped in my head. I've kind of smashed the world from 'The Giver' and 'Delirium' and 'Matched' pretty much all together.   

She grew up in a world where color was drained from everyone's eyes when they were born. He grew up away from that world and viewed the universe just as it was. She grew up with her parents, he grew up without both of his. She followed every rule in the rule book, he broke them all. When they cross paths, her curiosity gets the best of her, she wants to know what it like. She wants to know of colors, of holidays, of love and passion and music. And he is willing to try and show her. 

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Just an update

After spending a couple weeks in the hospital, my sister is back home with us. She's better and that's really great. She's moved into the room next to mine and the boys were moved downstairs. My stress levels lately have been way high and I've somehow found the time to rearrange my whole room about three times. I think I'm finally happy with the layout though. (: 

School is really stressful, I really wish my Geometry teacher knew how to, you know, teach. I got a bad Algebra teacher last year and I've always been good at math (and I passed with a very high grade in Physics last year and Physics is literally Algebra but with Science words so...) and I actually do like math and I really have to get good grades on my EOC's in my math-based classes so I can fulfill the requirements for the A+ program. I just don't understand anything my teacher say's and it is so beyond aggravating. 

My mom had a baby! Her name is Adalynn Grace and she is the most adorable small child I've ever met!:
Oh! She's such a doll. She's five weeks old now. ^-^ 

Another thing you might be interested in is I changed my hair again! It's short (not the Rapunzel look I wanted AT ALL and I don't like it, but I'm growing it out again and then plan to dye it Anna red. XD (Disnerd talk...)) 

My cute game is still strong though. XD 

I also get my braces off soon! The date is set for January second! It could have been earlier, but I have Christmas plans that got in the way of Orthodontist trip! Haha. 

I'm going to try and get in the habit of posting here more often, perhaps I will post some of my writing that's not Fanfiction here. (: I've been looking for a new place to post it anyway.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Book of memories

I got a scrap book today and started putting it together for the last couple of hours. I put a page for my back surgery, one for my brothers, one for my sister, one for Destiny, one for the Holiday's, one for movie tickets and one for the 5k's I've attended and so on and so forth.

And I thought about doing a page for my father but then I read a letter that I got from his sister and saw a picture of him and burst into tears and cried for a good half hour. Eventually, I had to move on and finish the rest of my pages (Which I did! It's looks fantastic in my opinion.) 

I think I will probably go and do some more crying about this but I think I'm okay, really. It's just that his death keeps hitting me hard and I have to go through the process of 
'oh my god, he's gone. I'm never going to get to get to know him. I'm never going to get to tell him that I love him or that I wish we had spent more time together, I'm never going to get to apologize for never asking about him when I was younger.' 
and that just makes me sad and yeah, brings me to tears. 

It's safe to say, I think, that I'm not going to be able to make a page dedicated to him. Maybe in another scrapbook later on another day. But I think it's just too much for me to handle right now even if it has already been a year. I've only ever told my very best friend (Christina) and I didn't tell her until the begging of this summer. It means a lot to me and it's hard for me to talk about it. To... To think about it! 

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight everyone! (: 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

New toy!

Whoo!! I got a new laptop!! XD It's a chrome book and it is BLUE And I love it!! <3 
I have also found a webcam that has ton's of fun edit's and I have played around with it lot's... Oops:

Also started transferring stuff from my old laptop to my new one and I've found some pretty interesting stuff including poems from three years ago. ^-^ 

I have decided today was a lot better than yesterday and I think it's because I literally only got out of bed today for food and a wonderful shower. :p I shouldn't get out of bed ever. My life would be so much more simpler. (: 


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

This is me

My name is Alyssa. I am 15 years old, I have a love for writing and reading. I'm obsessed with Disney and Musicals (My favorite is Wicked.) I really really like Cupcakes and cat's. I've lived in the same place all my life but dream to travel the world someday. Top places would have to be New York (Where I'll go for college.) Paris (Where I'll go when I get fluent in French.) And Seattle (Where I'll go when I'm ready to settle down hopefully... Maybe.) But I'd like to go all over! 

I've traveled some, besides Missouri (Which is where I am from.) I have been to Kansas, Florida, California, Arkansas, Georgia, Texas, and Tennessee. I'm not a very active person and I guess I'm not really exciting. But I can tell you that I've dyed my hair three times:
(I'm naturally a blond.)
(Then I died my hair a brown.)
(Then I died it black!) 

(Now I'm in the process of lightening it up a little bit.) 

Also, I cut my hair:

And I have found interest in dying my hair purple, hopefully sometime soon. I have also attended some 5k's in my life... No, I did not run them. I just walked them. 
 (Color me rad 5k)
(Glow run 5k) 
(Color foam 5k) 
(Superhero dash 5k) 

Those were not in order of the times that I did them but whatever. 

The most exciting thing about me is my medical history. 

I have had open heart surgery when I was 18 months old. I don't remember that... Obviously. But my mom said it was something my whole family will always remember. Very eventful and stressful for them all. I still have the scare down my chest as proof. Last summer I had surgery on my back. I have scoliosis and for a long time had to wear the most uncomfortable and unbearable brace which was an awful plastic that I was forced to wear under my clothing. It was awful and dreadful. 

One day I went to my back doctor and they told me I didn't have to wear the brace anymore. I was so incredibly happy I could have cried! But then they told me why. I didn't have to wear it anymore because the curve had gotten to large and I was going to have to have surgery for it. I did cry then. 

So we went through the process. Test were done, I had so many X-ray's taken and I had to have a cat scan which was the most awful thing ever. In this process, they also pulled an eraser out of my nose... They said it had probably been up their for ages. So more test and then it was day before surgery. And then it was surgery day... And I got a cough. 

They canceled my surgery due to my cough and we came back a couple week's later and then the process went on all over again. Finally, I had the surgery. My family was going through a lot at the time of my surgery. My sister had recently took lot's of pill's and was in the hospital for a long time. She got out maybe a week before my surgery. My mom was in court fighting to custody over my oldest brother. 

But we had friends and some family to help us get through the process. My sister spent the week in the hospital with me and my mom and I got through the healing process like a superstar, to use my doctor's words. 
This was taken after I arrived at the ICU. I was still drugged up so I don't remember it but it's my mom and my hands. She had told me that I was crying and had reached for her. There was a lot of crying while I was under. I told the doctor's I loved them and apologized that everyone had to wait for me while I was having surgery. (It was a 12 hour surgery.) They said I was suppose to be in the hospital in recovery for seven day's at the least. I went through  physical therapy which sucks, just saying.  

Despite what my doctor's said, I was out of there in five day's. Speedy recovery and one of the best they've seen according to my doctor. I have to say I had lot's of encouragement. 

Turns out, my back had a lot to do with my breathing problems that I had since I was born. I started breathing better at night and even at home my recovery went on easily. I had five different bottle's of pill's I had to take daily and I slept a LOT. I didn't go anywhere, but I think that made things go faster. I still am uncomfortable with the scar on my back because now I have two... One on my chest and one down my back. But the results of my surgery are incredible. 

After a while my breathing became a lot better, I didn't snore that much anymore even! They took me out of P.E. my freshmen year and told me I wasn't allowed to do any sports. I'm not allowed to lift a certain amount of pounds anymore and I'll always have these things I can't do because of my heart and back surgery. But I believed I was doing better. And it can always be worse. 

And then we found out the it was worse. One of my lungs was only getting 25% of the air it needed and the other was getting 75%, obviously that was effecting my breathing. I started to notice that I couldn't breath very well. Out of random I'd have to take a really deep breath because I couldn't breath. So recently, I had another surgery done. 

When I had my heart surgery done, they had to connect an artery to my heart. That artery was smaller than the others. But they said that it would grow as I grew. But it didn't. There for, I was only getting a certain amount of air... And it wasn't the normal. So they went in a put a stent in that artery to open it up and make it bigger to make the blood flow threw it more easily. 

They went in through my leg... So now I have a scar on my chest, back, and my very upper thigh. Also, small ones near my collar bone area from breathing tubes I've had over the years but they're barley noticeable. The most recent surgery didn't help, they said ti might not. So out of random I have to take really deep breathes so I don't pass out or anything. They have told me that they've done everything they can and I'm just going to have suck-y lungs and a weird breathing pattern for the rest of my life.  

I'm going into sophomore year this year and I'm going into P.E. I have to say I'm afraid to do any sports but maybe some day, you know? I want to be better, I want to be the super star that my doctor's think I am. I feel like I have to do more than just spend all day writing and tumblring to be a superstar. I have to prove everyone wrong because if I want to play a sport then I'm going to play a sport... No matter that my breathing is irregular. I've been through worse than playing sports.  

Have a great day everyone!! <3